I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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