I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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