I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
