hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Randomize
