You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
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