Pants 0. Shit 1.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
