...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Randomize
