He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
