I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
