i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
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