Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Everything about him screamed your future.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
