Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
