don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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