i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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