She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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