just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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