what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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