how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
