I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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