i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
