She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
