Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize