I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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