I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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