I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
In other news, I just burned my penis
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize