tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
