Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize