ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Randomize
