It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Randomize
