literally had 100 drinks last night.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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