i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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