She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Randomize
