I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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