I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Randomize
