I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
operation have a gay friend backfired
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
