My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
