What a fucking waste of an outfit
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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