Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
