i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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