i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Randomize
