Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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