alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
