There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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