Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize