And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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