Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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