8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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