ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
