i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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