He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
