She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Your tits are I can't wait for
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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