My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
