Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I woke up under a house in Key West
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize