If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Randomize
