North Korea, Best Korea!
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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