from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize
