apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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