You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
