I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
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