Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
