HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize