I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
