what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Randomize
