An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
they're like a gay fantastic four
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
