just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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