His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
