But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize